Underpants Guy

Since I had a filthy van full of kids and 20 extra minutes (don't ask how, I really don't know that happened), I pulled into my favorite car wash with FREE VACUUMS and put everyone to work.  I keep packages of Windex wipes and Armor-all wipes under the seat for just such an occasion.  Thomas was vacuuming, the girls were cleaning windows/leather, and Solomon was digging out petrified Cheez-Its, old crayons, and random ponytail elastics from under the seats (it sucks to be the youngest). 

We were almost done when a teenaged boy in a Jeep pulled up to the vacuum in front of us and started cleaning out his car while (of course) talking on his cell phone.  Solomon looked up at him and yells over the vacuum, "MOM, LOOK AT THAT GUY!  HIS PANTS IS OFF HIS BUTT!"  and sure enough, this poor kid (who at some point in his adult life will bitterly regret the fashion choices of his youth) was wearing jeans that were sitting a good inch or two south of his butt.  I'm sure he thought they were sagging, but they were not even close to his butt.  In fact, they defied the laws of gravity.  So as I stared transfixed, Solomon grabbed his sisters to show them, and they screamed this conversation over the vacuum, "MOM, HIS UNDERPANTS HAVE PINK ELEPHANTS ON THEM!  NO, THEY'RE NOT ELEPHANTS, I THINK THEY'RE PIGS!  NO, THEY'RE ELEPHANTS!  WHY IS HE WEARING HIS PANTS OFF HIS BUTT?  DOES HE WANT US TO LOOK AT HIS UNDERPANTS! HOW DO HIS PANTS STAY UP?"

All this screaming finally caught Thomas's attention.  He looked even more closely at the kid and screamed, "THAT GUY HAS A GIRL IN HIS CAR!  WHAT KIND OF GIRL IS GOING TO GO OUT WITH A GUY WHO WEARS UNDERPANTS WITH PINK ELEPHANTS ON THEM AND SAGS HIS PANTS COMPLETELY OFF HIS BUTT?!?!"

Finally, I was able to form words and said, "You guys are all screaming and staring!  Let's get out of here before he notices us!" and we took off.  The underpants guy was completely oblivious, but I think his girlfriend caught us laughing as we drove past them, four faces pressed up against the freshly cleaned windows, cracking up.