FAQ about the adoption

Since we spend an unbelievable amount of time answering the same questions, here are some FAQ answers:

WHY???
Before Thomas was born, we struggled for three years to have a family.  We had three miscarriages and the fertility stuff was so hard on me, that we decided we weren't going to do anything extreme to conceive biological children.  We looked into international adoption at that time (12 years ago), but then we managed to get pregnant, stay pregnant, have Thomas, have Meredith three years later, and it seemed like that was that.  Two healthy kids, boy and girl, what more could we ask for?  We were done.  Except I started thinking that maybe we were missing someone.  Actually, two someones.  It was just this little thing creeping around in my brain.  And then it seemed like maybe it wasn't a little thing.  I would often look in the backseat of the van and expect to see two more faces.  Brian looked in the backseat of the van and thought everything was just right, but because he is awesome and wonderful, we started talking about it more seriously in early 2008.  Then my friend Sara went to volunteer in an orphanage in Ethiopia and decided to adopt a boy.  When she came home, she came over and talked to us for a long time about her experiences and we were seriously considering it, but Brian was still really on the fence.  Then, he got laid off in November 2008.  So everything was completely on hold.  We spent a year trying to figure out what we were supposed to do.  Brian started his own video production/editing company and is doing really well.  Our lives are MUCH more in balance with him around more.  The money just seems to be there when we need it.  And the calling has never gone away.  So we just decided to go for it.

Do you know the kids?  How old are they?
We didn't when we started, but we do now!  Solomon is 6 and his sister Tinsaye is 8.  For more info, see the post linked here.

Will you go to Ethiopia to get them?
Yes.  Brian and I will fly there and stay for a week.   We will get to know the kids, go do a little more legal stuff at the US Embassy, and experience some Ethiopian culture.  And by "experience Ethiopian culture", I mean eat their food, which is now Brian's biggest concern.   You may remember that this was the man who packed a cooler to drive 15 minutes to the hospital when I delivered Thomas, so the whole food thing will be a real challenge for him!  He may actually forgo clothing in his suitcase and just pack cheeseburgers instead.

Will they speak English?
Yes, some, but their native language is Amharic.  Our agency is Adoption Advocates International out of Port Angeles, Washington.  They run an orphanage called Layla House in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia.  The teachers at Layla House prepare the children to come to American homes, so they learn English and American traditions and customs.  Our kids have only been at Layla since November 09, so they will have very little English, but it will definitely be better than our Amharic!

When will they be here? 
Hopefully Summer 2010.   First we have to fill out a million documents, have them all notarized, write a lot of very large checks, get fingerprinted, have a homestudy with a local social worker, write more large checks, get a referral for the kids and accept it, send important documents to various governmental agencies, wait for all kinds of legal stuff in Ethiopia, and then someday they'll tell us to pack our bags!  In my mind, it's been 12 years in the making, so I can wait as long as it takes.

What do Thomas and Meredith think?
They are both really excited to have a same gender sibling.  They have many friends who are adopted and/or culturally different from us, so they are very unconcerned about having a family that looks unusual.  They are jazzed about getting bunk beds too!  Remember, we have been seriously talking about this as a family for over a year, so we've had the chance to imagine all the scenarios from sharing your closet to who sits where in the minivan to "will they like spaghetti?" to "how will they know who Great Aunt Judy is?".  The day we signed the very first application paper we told Meredith and she was incredibly excited.  Then a little later she said, "Mom, I'm just a little worried about one thing, but I think it will be okay.  There's only one bed in my room, so my sister can sleep there and I'll just use my sleeping bag on the floor."  Her little heart was so big giving up her bed was no big deal.  We explained that it would still be months and months until her sister was here and that we can all have beds!

Will you move?
Nope.  Just squeeze in two more.  Maybe someday, but for now we're staying put.

Any questions we missed?  Just let us know.