Thanksgiving Update

People keep telling me "I wish you could post on your blog more often, but I know you're busy."   I'm right there with you!  But since it's Thanksgiving and I have more things to be thankful for than I can even count, I figured I'd squeeze in a quick update.

Thomas spent three days at Fifth Grade Camp earlier this month.  It was a terrific time, mostly hands-on science curriculum and it was right up his alley.  He came home feeling even cooler than he was before (as if that's possible).  It was funny how much Mere, Tinsaye, and Solomon missed him.  They kept saying, "I wonder what Thomas is doing now?" and when I told them that they should get used to it because someday he was going to college without them, Tinsaye started crying.   She pretty much can't deal with any more family changes right now. 

Speaking of Tinsaye, we've been pretty overwhelmed with a big issue for her:  her age.  Her birth certificate issued by the Ethiopian government said her birthdate was 7/2/2002.  The longer she was here, the more convinced we were that she was older than 8.  She knows she's older than 8 too, but Ethiopian calendar and tradition of counting birthdays differently made it really hard for us to determine the correct age.  Plus she's doing really well in school (2nd grade) and we don't want to change her grade right now.  So after a bone scan, a consultation with an international adoption specialist doctor, our pediatrician, a family therapist, and her teachers, we are officially changing her birthdate to 7/2/2001, making her 9 1/2.  She seems happy with this and at peace (which is a big relief since she we have had lots of emotional drama surrounding this issue).  Thomas is VERY relieved to still be the oldest.  We may move her up a grade at some point, but this year she is staying put.  We applied for her Michigan birth certificate with the age change and we'll have to go to a hearing in Oakland County court to present the medical reasons, but after we have a new MI birth certificate, we can get federal documentation and be done with it forever.  

I keep forgetting to update you all about the kids' medical issues.  We've spent a lot of time this fall dealing with doctors, even beyond all the stuff dealing with Tinsaye's age.  We saw a geneticist who confirmed that they both have Axenfeld-Riegers Syndrome.  We also had full cardiology exams for both kids since the genetic anomaly can lead to cardiac malformation too.  They were both completely normal and healthy!  We are supposed to see an audiologist also to rule out any ear malformations, but I feel confident that they hear just fine, so we've put that off for now.  Both Solomon and Tinsaye's eye pressures continue to improve and Tinsaye's vision has actually improved somewhat (from astonishingly bad to just remarkably bad!).  Solomon goes back for a recheck with the ophthalmologist next Friday and if pressures are still good, we will plan a surgery to fix the strabismus (wandering eye).  He doesn't know about the surgery, I think he'll be really scared.  We'll just deal with it as it comes.  Both kids' teeth are a disaster.  Many adult teeth never formed in utero, so they will just have to have bridges or implants or something, but they are too young to do anything about it now, so they just look crazy.  Solomon actually got his two adult bottom teeth, but never lost his baby ones... the adult teeth just came in behind the babies, so he's a total Shark Boy right now.  He cried and cried because the Tooth Fairy never came for him!  We are all caught up on their immunizations for now, so that is one less thing to deal with.

All the kids are playing community ed basketball right now and having fun with that.  Beyond that, school and church keep us unbelievably busy.  The girls are preparing for First Communion in the spring, so they just had their First Reconciliation.  Meredith was very worried because she could not think of any sins she needed to confess and if she made any up, she'd be lying, which would be a sin that she needed to confess!  Quite a quandary.  She eventually decided to own up to "ignoring her dad" and "hitting her brother" and she felt really good about her confession.  Tinsaye made a list of about 10 ordinary sins like "fighting with my brother", but then in the heat of the confessional, she told me she panicked and admitted to "pantsing my brother in the front yard, but it was on accident and I said I was sorry ten times, but he no listen to me, he is so angry".  It must be hilarious for the priest to hear first confessions!  Thomas went to the training to be an altar server.  It seemed like a good idea, since we often serve as host family and Thomas helps on the altar frequently.  However, when we realized that he was going to have to carry a giant lit candle up the entire aisle and put it in a holder without starting a fire, sit without figiting in front of hundreds of people for the entire hour, and carry wine around without dropping it, I figured that it might not be such a great idea after all.  Maybe I could get him an earpiece like the Secret Service guys wear and talk into my sleeve while he's up there, saying things like, "watch where you're going, quit picking your scabs, tie your shoe, hold the chalice with BOTH hands!"  Or maybe we can just wait a year or two. 

Overall, we are just blessed and blessed and blessed.  And tired.  But blessed.

November 6-- Faith Day

November 6, 1997:  I have a new job, we are in a new house, our world is great.  Now we're ready to have a baby!  Everything is going along just perfectly according to plan. 

November 6, 1998:  I have had two miscarriages and now I'm not getting pregnant again.  I am so full of grief, fear, and longing that I feel broken inside and I'm not sure I'll ever be happy again. 

November 6, 1999:  Another miscarriage, more doctors, a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis.  Now I'm pregnant again and too scared to be happy.  But I'm farther along than before and I continue to pray.  If it doesn't work out this time, we are looking into international adoption next.  Knowing that we will have a family one way or another gives me peace.

November 6, 2000:  Perfect baby Thomas was born in March.  After a rocky start, he's doing great and we are finally the family I have been praying for.

November 6, 2001:  Everything is going great in our lives.... maybe we should be thinking about baby #2.  Am I ready for all the doctors?  For feeling terrible when I go off my arthritis meds?  We'll give it a shot, but nothing heroic.  If it doesn't work out, there are millions of children in this world who need a family.  If I've learned anything, it's that God has a plan for us.

November 6, 2002:  I'm pregnant and expecting a miscarriage any day.  I refuse to get my hopes up...but...the early ultrasounds look good, the hormone levels continue to rise (did I mention how much I LOVE bloodwork and doctors?) and I'm puking daily.  God, give me the strength to endure whatever you have in store for me.

November 6, 2003:  Meredith arrived in June and NOW we are finally the family I have been praying for.  It's a lot of work, though.  I'm working days and Brian's working nights and we hand off each afternoon.

November 6, 2004:  We've got it all under control.  Lots of work, but it's all good.

November 6, 2005:  Thomas is in school, Brian's back to days.  We're making plenty of money, kids are getting easier.  How perfect is this life?  Thank you God for all our many blessings.

November 6, 2006:  Yeah, I'm sure I'm crazy , but there's just this tiny little thing... I'm wondering if maybe our family is not quite done.  Seems a little bit like someone is missing.  But I just can't deal with all the fertility stuff again.  And I'm really over the whole baby scene.  Hmmmm.....

November 6, 2007:  I'm pretty sure two kids are missing from our family.  I'm also pretty sure Brian is going to kill me.  I just can't get it out of my head.  Somebody needs us.  It makes no sense at all.  Why would we mess up our perfect family?  If this is what God wants for our family, he's going to have to work some serious miracles. 

November 6, 2008:  Brian just called to tell me he was laid off today.  How about those miracles, God?  You think THIS is going to help?  Now what do you want from us?     

November 6, 2009:  Brian spent an hour this morning at a prayer group at church (that wouldn't have happened a year ago).  In his prayer he said, "I guess this call to adopt is not going to go away.  I have tried to ignore it for a long time and I'm tired of sitting on the fence and being afraid.  If this is what You want for us, You're going to have to work some serious miracles.  We have NOTHING under control and we have NO plan now, so bring it on."

...meanwhile, on the other side of the planet....a woman was walking away from an orphanage where she had just left her two children.  Through her tears her prayer was, "keep them safe, Lord, take care of them."  The children were consumed with grief and fear.  They were told to smile for the camera as they took their intake photo.  The date stamp on the photo says November 6, 2009. 

November 6, 2010:  My four kids are asleep in their sleeping bags in the basement because they all would prefer to be together rather than apart at any given moment.  I am up very early because apparently I am supposed to write this blog post (when I wake up at 4:50am with all this stuff in my head, I've learned that it is because someone needs to read it).  I look at my life, I look at their lives, and I am overwhelmed at what God can do when we pray, when we wait, when we trust.

Today is our family's first annual celebration of what I guess we're going to call Faith Day.  For us, it is a celebration of all the ways God has taken care of us, especially when it seemed like things were going really, really wrong.  I need those reminders when I am exhausted and overwhelmed (a lot of the time!).  It's also a day to be reminded how important it is to ACT in faith.  So many things get in the way of us acting on our faith:  our comfortable American life, our bank accounts, our age... the list is long and personal.  But my crazy family is living proof that God is only limited by our lack of courage to let go of our fears and act. 

Happy Faith Day, everybody! 

Solomonisms

"Mom, mom,mom,mom,mom....can I off my pants?"

"These things (mittens) is hot my fingers!  They can't go out!"

"I have BEEEG (big) problem on the bus today.  Joanna say she is love me!  I no love her, but I no want to hurt her feelings.  What if she is kiss me?  Deeshgusting!"

"Mom, I have another beeeeeg problem on the bus.  This girl, I no know her name, it is something start with V and her face is like China.  She say to me "are you gonna sit here?" and I say yes and she yell at me "NO, YOU IS NOT SITTING BY ME!" and I get VERY angry and yell at her "YES, I IS SIT HERE, BUS DRIVER SAY" and she say "Bus Driver, Solomon is yelling at me!" and I very angry and little bit scared."


Mom, it is very cold today.
  Yes, but it's going to get colder.
Will it go to 5?
  Yes, someday.  That's really cold.
When it is 5 will I have to wear my mittens in my classroom?
  No, it's warm inside.
But how it stay warm inside?  5 is VERRRRRRY cold!

Mom, can I wear my elevator pjs?
  Your elevator pjs?
Yeah, you know with the guy?
  What guy?
The guy, elevator, on Star Wars?
  You mean Darth Vader??????????????
Yeah, Darth Vader.  Can I wear those pjs?  Can I off my pants?