Things are going along great, but you know, I'm not sure I realized how much WORK this was going to be! Like physically exhausting work. All day I'm fixing and holding and hugging and redirecting and cleaning and wiping and lifting and tying and flushing and blowing and rocking. A great post-adoption parenting resource I have says to imagine the new kids are just like toddlers. Everything in their world is brand new and needs to be explored and learned about the same way a 2- or 3-year-old does. For example, Tinsaye came up to the glass storm door and put her sticky hands on it while she was looking out (of course, it was freshly cleaned). I had to show her how she made prints all over it by doing that, which she thought was really cool and then had to try it again. I had to explain how that's not what we do. She was fine with that, but that little moment happens about every 3 minutes all day long. They need to learn every single "rule" we have in our culture just like a toddler does and I can't get mad or frustrated that they don't know how it's supposed to be or even that it takes them more than one "lesson" to learn and remember it. And then I have to clean the glass again (or more likely just leave it and wait for Brian to complain about how it appears we now live in a crack house). The other piece of this is that by the end of the day they have been told "no" so many times that they are tired of hearing it, very frustrated, and as exhausted as I am (just like a toddler). We haven't had any temper tantrums yet, but I can see them coming.
Getting everyone to bed seems to be a Herculean task these days. Everyone is filthy and sweaty from playing outside all day so that means four showers. Solomon always negotiates desperately (and unsuccessfully) for "small wash" (meaning splash water on his face and call it good), Tinsaye would prefer to take three 45-minute showers everyday, using every body wash, scrub, and lotion we own. Thomas hopes he can stay under the radar by taking a quick shower with no supervision, so God only knows if he's actually clean. And remember Meredith, the Slowest Child in America? Yeah. Still is. And then they all need a snack, which means Thomas and Solomon eat everything in sight, Tinsaye whines that she "no like" everything offered except ice cream, and Meredith literally made herself sick on Moon Pies that Aunt Mandy bought her. All this excitement is followed by tooth brushing (four at a time, spit everywhere and Solomon manages to fling water all over himself, his siblings, and the entire bathroom), and prayers which means everyone piles on the boys beds without shoving. The GREAT news is that everyone falls asleep immediately and for at least 10 hours. Brian and I try to sit and reconnect, but we both just fall asleep sitting up, so we've given up and just go to bed.
Sound like sheer misery? Remarkably, it's not! All the tough stuff is also intermixed with moments of wonder. A car wash? "Vat ees zees? So noisy!" The playground at their school. Fountains in a pond. Speed limit signs... "we go 50 now mama? So fast!" Magic doors that open on their own, magic money that somehow comes out of the plastic card in mom's wallet, cold water, hot water, an entire aisle of Barbie dolls, tiny boxes full of photos and movies and music (aka iPods). Peeing in a cup at the doctors, elevators (lifts, remember how they think they're British?), talking into a box and someone hands you food out the window at McDonalds. The list is endless. Can you even imagine how much they are trying to absorb in a single day?
Solomon needed more batteries for his little camera that my friend Deb gave him that NEVER leaves his side. He literally sleeps with it. When the batteries died in his imagination it became a cell phone and now he hold it up to his head and chatters away in Amharic to some real or imagined person. It's hilarious. Anyway, we found a package of 20 AA's at Target and I said, "here, Bud, these will work". He looked at them, counted them all, and looked up at me in wonder and said "Twenty? For me?" "Sure, honey, for your camera", I replied. Tears of joy sprang to his eyes and he grabbed my legs in a huge hug and said, "Thank you Mama" as if I had given him his dearest wish. I am so blessed to have these exhausting days also filled with moments like this, where joy is so visible and so pure.
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