Settling In

So I know everyone is dying to hear about stuff... unfortunately I now have four kids.  It worked out crappy that way.  So I'll give it my best shot, but be warned, I may need to cut this (or any) post short and pick back up in a day or two. 

We are all doing just great at home now.  Tinsaye and Solomon are eating and sleeping really well.  Solomon eats like he does everything:  full bore, nonstop, intense and stay out of his way.  Yesterday for lunch he ate:  three pieces of pizza, a banana, an avocado, three tubes of Gogurt, a glass of juice, a glass of milk, at least two glasses of water, and he would have kept going if I hadn't removed him physically from the table.  Unfortunately, about 20% of all that food wound up on him, the chair, and the floor.  Using a fork is still a relatively new concept for him, since traditional Ethiopian food is mostly always served on injera flat bread and the bread is the utensil, you just shovel it into your mouth.  The second Solomon realizes the meal is over, he says, "Lunch finished?  Go bicycle now?"  and regardless of the answer he is out the door.  The only good thing is that he actually thinks the garage door is magic and we've neglected to tell him how to open it, so he can't get his bicycle into the street if we keep it down.  And of course, as I mentioned in the previous post, he does not know how to ride his bicycle.  When he's not perseverating on his bike, he's playing soccer with the crew of 10 year old neighborhood boys who are in awe of his amazing soccer prowess.  When he's finally in bed at the end of the day, he is completely asleep in about 30 seconds.  As soon as his eyes open in the morning he says, "Sleep finished.  Go bicycle?" 

Tinsaye is much more sophisticated and ladylike in her meal routine.  She takes everything we give her, cuts it all up into tiny pieces, smooshes it all together and eats it in a "sandwich" of wheat bread, which is mostly scooped up like injera.  She is pickier that Solomon and frequently doesn't want to try new things, refusing to even have them on her plate and whining dramatically that "I don't like!"  Yesterday at the grocery store she found a display of pineapples and jumped for joy, grabbed one and kissed it, saying "I LOVE pineapple!  I love it!!" But when I cut it all up and gave it to her she pushed it off her plate and wouldn't eat it.  Who knows?  It appears she could live on bananas and peanut butter and scrambled eggs, so no problem.  Her obsessive activity is swimming.  Everyday, it's "Go swimming today Mama?"  Tragically, we don't have a pool, so we are reliant on the kindness of neighbors.  

Their English is very good, especially Tinsaye's.  Unfortunately, their accent is very heavy and for some reason, they sound like Boris and Natasha from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons.  "Vat iz zees, Mama?"  "You are cRRRRRazy driver, Mama!" (rolled R).  Plus they have learned English from Ethiopians who learned it from British, so they say weird non-American things like "Need a plaster!" instead of asking for a Band-Aid. 

Meredith, as usual, is just floating happily along with her new brother and sister.  No worries, no problems.  Thomas is taking his role as oldest child WAY too seriously and worrying about them a lot.  He made himself sick with anxiety right before we came home, but he's lightening up now.  He's at a day camp this week, and it has been wonderful for him to have a break and do his own thing. 

That's it for now.  Next time I'll fill you all in on the trip. 

We are home!!!  WOW!  So much to say... I don't quite know where to start.  I guess I'll just say today that our trip was great.  We had totally smooth flights there and back, no problems with immigration or any of the paperwork, none of us were sick at all, everything went exactly according to plan.  I was marveling about the fact that most of the other Americans we met in Ethiopia were puking at some point and my brother in law said, "Well, you did have a LOT of people praying for you."  He is completely right.  We were aware of the power of your prayers the whole time and I can't thank you all enough. 

Now comes the fun part!  Astonishing things this morning have included the vacuum, M&M's, crab legs at the grocery store, and carpet.  "No shoes?  You sleep on this?"  Very disappointed to learn that the white limestone landscaping stones at the neighbors were NOT snow.  Solomon keeps running out to look at his bike and he stares at it and whispers to himself with hushed awe "...bicycle...bicycle...we go now, Dad?  Please?"   So we're off to see what happens... keep praying.  I'm not winning Mother Of The Year if we end up in the ER first day home!

Shopping Trip

Last Sunday, my dear friends/neighbors Lori, Deb, and Sue had a shower for me.  It was just terrific!  It was at Olive Garden (yum!) and I was surrounded by my moms and sisters, old friends, school friends, church friends, and neighborhood friends.  It felt so great to have all these fantastic women that I love sharing my joy.  Everyone was so generous and we got some great stuff for the kids... books, backpacks, beach towels, cameras, pjs, toiletries, and GIFT CARDS... lots and lots of gift cards! 

So yesterday I took all the gift cards and went shopping for the kids.  I would like to state for the record that I am not a shopper.  I do okay if I know exactly what I want and where to get it.  But if I have to figure out what I'm looking for while I'm in the store,  I find myself spending too much time analyzing prices, value, sizes, options, environmental impact, political/social ramifications of this purchase, etc... and then my father's cheapskate genes kick in and I think, "we don't really need this" and walk away, having wasted 20 minutes thinking about one stupid item.  Plus whenever I'm shopping Brian calls me about every 45 minutes asking where I am and how much longer I'm going to be gone because he can't find Thomas's shoes and did you get any more yard waste bags? and we're going to need some dinner soon and is it okay if Meredith wears her new pants? and other random questions that one would think a fully competent adult could handle by himself.  The annoying phone calls combined with my indecision and frugality make me not enjoy shopping at all.  But I needed to get the kids some stuff, so I had to go.

Well yesterday I spent four hours at Target and Kohls and got everything the kids will need (at least to get started in America)!  I already had lots of clothes for Solomon thanks to generous friends' hand-me-downs and leftover things from Thomas that I was still hanging on to (see Dad?  Cheapskate genes once again!).  Because Tinsaye needed everything and Meredith is very close to the same size, I felt like two girls could wear things thereby halving the actual cost of her stuff and making it less traumatic for me to decide.  And Brian only called twice! 

As I was picking out Tinsaye's clothes, I kept see-sawing between thinking "she is going to LOVE this!" and "I hope she likes this!"  What seems totally cool to an American mom might be horrifying to an Ethiopian girl.  By all accounts, she has strong opinions about things and I can imagine her looking at the clothes I bring her and thinking "this is horrible, but I don't want to offend or hurt my new mom, so I'd better pretend to like it".  No one ever worries about this stuff with baby clothes!

I was nearly done when I saw a really cute dress for Tinsaye that was blue with white stars and red trim.  Very "brand new American girl", so I got it for her "coming home" outfit.  Then I went over to the little boys department to see if I could find an "American" shirt for Solomon.  Immediately, I found a white and red baseball jersey with blue and silver words saying "All-American Slugger".  As I held up this adorable shirt and was thinking about how they would look stepping off the plane dressed up like the flag,  I suddenly (and to my horror!) started crying.  My first thought was "my sisters would fall on the floor laughing at me if they knew I was crying all over the boys tee shirt display in Kohls".  But my second thought was what it really means to these kids to be Americans.  Americans always tell our kids "The sky is the limit on your future!  You can be whatever you want to be!" and American kids and parents take that fact of American life so for granted.  But for Solomon and Tinsaye, coming to American means that they get to have a future.  If they had spent their lives in Ethiopia, the odds are very great that they would have lived in poverty with little or no education.  They would most likely have gone blind because of their eye condition.  Their lives would have been very short and very hopeless.  Being an American means they will get good nutrition, good education, good health care.  They will be surrounded by friends and family.  They can pursue whatever life they want.  Stepping off the plane in America means they have limitless potential.  I know that God has something amazing in store for them and for all of us.  I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

And then my phone rang... "we're all really hungry.  When was dinner going to happen?" 

Bedroom Makeovers (and an Ode to Lisa)

Brian and I have spent a ridiculous amount of time redoing the kids' bedrooms.  I know for certain that I would never survive a kitchen redo (like my poor sister Mandy who's been living in a construction zone for about 5 months) unless I won a contest and some fabulous design team came in and completed the project in about three days.  I detest having piles of stuff laying around and rooms feeling unfinished. 

Anyway, here are some "before" shots of Thomas's room:

The general theme of his room was "old stuff shoved in a white room".  Not horrible, but not very compelling.  Thomas never complained and since the furniture was mine when I was his age, it didn't really cost anything. But two boys needed two beds and so we needed to get to work.

Here are some "before" shots of Meredith's room:

This room was a little better.  We did it up great in 2000 when it was the nursery and just morphed it into a little girl room when we were done with the crib.  I loved the bright green headboard and Grandpa Bricker painted a shadow box they had at their house that Meredith loved and gave it to her for her treasures.  But clearly we needed to change things up for two little girls. 

Here is an "after" shot of the boys' room:

We love how this room turned out!  My Sis Mandy and SiL Kristin were design consultants.  It's a little hard to tell in the photo but the walls are gray and the trim is white.  My mom and dad spent two days helping me paint.  My amazingly generous good friend and Mommy Mentor, Lisa, gave us the cool bunk beds from her daughter's room.  One mattress came from our sainted friends the Browns (who also show us daily that raising four kids between the ages of 6 and 10 can be done!).  The other came from my work buddy Dave Browne, awesome teacher and kind soul.  Thomas picked out the red bedding from Target.  We spray painted the old crappy bookshelf and it's cooler than ever.  Director's chair from my college dorm room!  New valance and blinds and a dresser from Ikea (not in the shot).  Total cost of this room (thanks to all the gifts and donations):  around $350.

Here is an "after" shot of the girls' room:

Again, mom and dad were the painting muscle.  They also gave us the bunk beds as a gift!  In addition, they came to our house one day and spent the whole day putting together both Ikea dressers and installing the blinds in both rooms while we were at work.  Mom said, "we're like the Good Fairies!" and they truly are, if the Good Fairies leave 40 lbs of boxes and packing debris all over the garage floor.  Just kidding, we were so grateful for their help!  We had one of these mattresses already and the other one came from Brian's parents.  All the bedding came from Mommy Mentor Lisa as well as the cool beads on the curtains, all the decorative pillows, six sets of sheets, a bunch of cool fabric butterflies to hang on the walls (not up yet) and believe it or not, the pink carpet!  Yes, Brian and Thomas actually tore the carpet out of Lisa's daughter's bedroom and put it in here!  Meredith thinks she has died and gone to heaven to have pink carpet.  Total cost of this room (thanks to Lisa*):  around $250. 

Thomas and Meredith are so happy, and I can't even wait to see Solomon and Tinsaye's reaction.  Every single time I go in these rooms now I am reminded of how much love we are surrounded by and how blessed and blessed and blessed we are to have family and friends who are so generous.  

*Side note about Lisa:  she has always been there for me when I needed her most.  Lisa took me to Babies R Us to register when I was pg with Thomas.  When I was waffling about how expensive everything was and feeling like I didn't want to register for the totally cool bedding I REALLY wanted, she yanked the scanner out of my hand and said, "Give me that scanner!  You want this bedding and someone wants to get it for you.  I'm scanning it and it's going on your registry!"  And she was RIGHT!  And when I came home from the hospital with my tiny, jaundiced, starving baby boy and he wouldn't nurse and I was a hormonal mess, Lisa called me just as I was about to completely lose it and said to me, "Don't move.  I'm coming over and I'm bringing my breast pump!"  And she DID!   And since I teach with Lisa, I can't even count the number of times she has helped me out at work, solving problems with kids, parents, and other staff.  I hope I can repay her in some way for all her kindness to me, somehow, someday.  Thank you Lisa!  I love you!

Donations for Layla House

When we travel (four weeks from today!) we will be taking two 50lb suitcases full of donations for the orphanage.  We usually think of Africa as being hot all the time, but Addis is at 8,000 ft elevation and has a rainy season May-September that is cool with torrential downpours. The orphanage staff is asking for warmer clothes and shoes.   If you would like to help out, see the list below (also in the sidebar) and get them to us before June 8.  Clothes and shoes should be new or nearly new.

*jeans or pants for boys and girls, sizes 5 and up
*sweatshirts/jackets/sweaters for boys and girls, sizes 5 and up
*sneakers for boys and girls, size 12 (little kids) up to about 8
*socks for boys and girls
*also needed:  A&D diaper rash ointment and plastic diaper covers for the babies, exam gloves for the medical staff, lice shampoo, children's vitamins.

On behalf of the kids still waiting for families, thank you for making the rainy season a little warmer and drier!

Paper Pregnant

Adoptive moms like to say we are "paper pregnant" because we look normal on the outside, but all the paperwork says we are expecting and in our brains and our hearts we are very definitely gestating.  It's weird because if I looked as pregnant as I feel, people would be telling me to sit down and rest, put my feet up, take it easy, "let Brian do that", and other nice things that generally let me off the hook.  They would forgive me for forgetting to send back the permission slip for the field trip, for turning in my professional development forms late, for the weeds in my flowerbeds, for randomly bursting into tears, for being wide-awake at 3:30am with my thoughts racing. 

I'm paper pregnant with twins and I'm not even getting nine months... we will fly on June 11, seven months after we mailed our adoption application (I guess that was "conception"?  No where near as fun as the old-fashioned way!  Although now that I think about it, our "old-fashioned" pregnancies required the participation of an OB/GYN, a reproductive endocrinologist, a rheumatologist, several lab techs, a pharmacist, and lots of drugs.  Sort of a group effort and not fun at all).  

How does paper pregnant compare with physically pregnant?  I haven't gained 30 lbs, I have no (new) stretch marks, there's no alien-like creature inside me squirming around,  grinding his/her little noggin into my pelvic bones.  That's all really good.  However, I'm really tired most of the time, I'm having trouble sleeping, I can't concentrate, I'm weepy and over-emotional, and I have a big circle on a date on the calendar and I feel this crazy combination of anticipation and dread increasing daily as it gets closer.  I feel frantic thinking about getting their rooms ready and getting them clothes.  I'm packing a bag (and Brian's filling it with food).

I keep thinking:  what will they sound like?  what will they smell like?  how will they change our family dynamic?  what will they struggle with?  will I be able to help them?  how will I handle everything?  will I love them right away?  what if I don't?  what if they won't eat?  what if they won't sleep?  what was I thinking?!?!  And all these thoughts are pretty much simultaneous and frequently in the middle of a staff meeting, church, or the middle of the night. 

If you've ever been any kind of pregnant you know exactly how I feel right now. 

Stuff About The Kids

We received an "exit report" from the social worker at the orphanage this week which gave us a little more insight into the kids.  Here are some of the things she said:

"Solomon does not like much meat but he likes hamburgers, milk, ice cream, apples, pizza, and injera [Ethiopian bread].  His favorite colors are yellow and red.  Solomon is an active competitor during sports/play activities. He especially likes playing volleyball.  He enjoys watching movies, especially cartoons and reading books.  Solomon likes school and his favorite subjects are English and mathematics.  Solomon wants to be a doctor when he grows up.  Solomon is outgoing, responsible and independent.  He is open and friendly.  He communicates well with his peers and with adults.  He is an especially bright child for his age and excels in reading English."

" Tinsaye likes to eat peanuts, eggs, milk, ice cream, pizza, injera.  She doesn’t like miser wat [an Ethiopian sauce made with lentils], meat and carrots.  Her favorite colors are pink and blue.  She doesn’t like black.  Tinsaye enjoys jumping rope and swimming.  She enjoys reading books.  Tinsaye’s academic interests are seemingly quite diverse as well.  She stated that her favorite school subjects are English and mathematics.  Tinsaye wants to be a doctor when she grows up.
Tinsaye is strong-minded.  She can be very focused when she wants to be.  She is friendly and polite.  She is not shy but not aggressive.  Sometimes Tinsaye can be a little stinker, if you know what I mean, but all she needs is an authoritative figure to manager her and she'll be fine." "Both of these kids have wonderful personalities and have added a nice positive force to Layla House while they have been here.  Their unique look [mismatched blue/brown eyes] has brought them much attention and their outgoing demeanor has made them favorites among the volunteers, teachers and housemothers."  

To us, they sound like a couple of Baerts!